WHAT IS A FRIEND?

Lets Talk About It - From NYC w/Dana J.

How often do we come across true friends in our lives that we know will be there through and through, thick and thin, and no matter what happens? I bet all of us can count them on our hands. What is the defintion of a good friend these days? Do men or women make better friends?

I can give you my opinion and what a recent friend said to me. They are few and far between. A true good friend will be in your life forever no matter how long you go without talking or hanging out. It will be as if nothing has changed or no time has passed. You can also tell that person they look like crap without them getting angry or giving you the silent treatment. Complete and total honesty is key. If a person can't handle a friend being real, though they might even sound harsh at times, then they are not your friend. I have listened to people yell, curse, and say things they don' t mean in my lifetime and we might have fought but at the end of the day they where still my friend and there for me when I needed them. If you lose a friend then they probably didn't care in the first place so why bother.  They should always be straight up and tell it how it is. That is what I want in a friend. I am not gonna say I do not get defensive at times; however, don't we all. C'mon if you say no then your lieing lol. Finding a true friend is kinda like looking for that Mr. or Mrs. Right in your life. Any person wont suffice.

I chose this topic because I recently had a friend who had some issues in this area and this is what I said to them. They were in total astonishment on what took place and did not understand it either. When a person refuses to give you an explanation or even talk to you, it makes you feel inadequate and like your bothering them. Say something do something people. Do not ignore. If you want to say hey we are not good as friends lets go our separate ways, then at least you can say you were honest about it. Who needs the bs. Is life not hard enough already? When I look for a friend I look for the following:

Honesty
Communication (I want someone who I can call at 3 am and will listen or who I can talk their ear off and not let them get a word in and they do not complain)
Loyalty
Trust

There are more, but these are the key elements in my opinion. Tell me what you look for in a friend? Feel free to tell one of your stories of something you went through with a friend. People often like to know they are not the only ones out there. I have an interesting question.

What if a friend started dating and ex boyfriend or husband of yours. Would you disown them as friends? 

My answer: If they are a good friend they probably would not do that, but that is not completely true. We are all human and make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. If they have always been a good friend maybe they have an explanation and are remorseful. I say try to talk it out, work through it, and get over it. Is it worth losing a friend you love and cherish. I think this is a difficult question and all depends on each individual situation, but forgiveness is crucial for yourself and for the other person. If you can't forgive then you will be bitter and angry forever. Maybe it will take years but if it is a true friendship you will find each other again no matter what trials and tribulations you went through and will go through in the future. We have to accept people for who they are if you love them that way then you already know who they are and what their faults are. So why be surprised. If you expect change you will be dissappointed.

What if you lose a friend and wished you said this or that or did this or that? What if forgiveness is too late? Why live with regrets. We are going to have plenty in our lifetime. Why add to the list. I recently lost a friend that I did not expect to lose. The first thing out of my mouth was oh I was going to call them. Life is too short to not live in the moment or take the time for the small things. The small things are what matter the most. It is important to keep important people in your life and have the close support system around you thats not just family. I can go on and on about this subject; however, it will turn into a novel haha. Believe!

Well peeps this is my take!

Caio

Dana J.