Lets Talk About It - From NYC w/Dana J.
I recently read a story over the Internet about what a person's regrets were knowing they were going to die or what would they do. They were so very simple and basic. It wasn't bungee jumping, sky diving, or anything extravagant or silly. It was meaningful things that we neglect to think of everyday such as spending more time with loved ones. That is just one example; however, we all get the point I am sure. We have to make time to notice the simple important things. It is not the huge things or crazy spontaneous things that will satisfy us. A friend asked me that same question once, and I really had no idea how to answer it; however, I do now. I don't have an answer of what I do if I found out I was dieing and had a time frame. I don't want to ever have to think what if if I can help it. I want to live my life now! I want to do whatever I can to be happy and make those around me happy. I want to spend time with my friends and loved ones, and I want to have as little regrets as possible...if any at all. The point is I don't want to have to try to fit an entire life into whatever time I might be given if that ever happened. I want to start making my dreams come a reality and not make excuses. I am too tired, another time, I am busy, I have to work, or maybe tomorrow. What if there was no tomorrow?
Life is short. We all are on a time clock if you think about it. Some might be on a shorter one or know of a more precise timeline, but our lives can be taken from us at any moment. This is why I say just live life to the fullest each day. Don't spend your days dwelling, worrying, or spending too much time on the past. All that does is cause one to go backwards in life. The point is to move towards our future. Now, I am not saying that we all do not get angry, sad, or depressed. Of course that is part of life. What I am saying is to not let that run your life and take over. Trust me when I tell you it can in a heartbeat. It eats at us and takes up a major part of our life. Time flies by to quickly to sit around and mope. I am guilty of it as I am sure the rest of you out there are as well. Bad things are going to happen, but if you pay attention something good always comes along at that time or shortly after. You have to open your eyes to what is not always seen. Everything happens for a reason. If we did not make mistakes than we would never learn from them, and we would continue on that path of destruction. It is normal to make mistakes or even do them more than once. This would be called a pattern. I have fell into those just like the rest of the world. Eventually you see it if you are willing recognize it. If you ignore it and CHOOSE to stay on the wrong paths in life, than that is your own fault.
Leave the past in the past. That is exactly what it is...the past. You can't go back, and why would you want to? What would be the point? What happened good or bad was meant to happen. It made you who you are and got you to where you are supposed to be. Life is not all fabulous 24/7, but it can be easier and almost bearable if we are strong and continue to get up and dust ourselves off. COWBOY UP people! Being angry at someone or not forgiving, this is another way to waste your time and energy. Forgiveness is for YOU not the other person. Sometimes we can rebuild broken relationships because it is unhealthy. That is ok. Release all negative feelings as quickly as you can. It is not worth it. Why? Well, while you are being angry and walking around like the entire world is on your shoulders and letting that person know it, than you let them win. They are laughing at you knowing they got to you. They got what they wanted while they are walking around without a care in the damn world living their lives. It prevents you from moving on. The more you fuel people like that in our lives, the worse they get. It will never stop unless YOU stop it! They got they best of you and that pleases them. Don't let them have that satisfaction. Head up, shoulders back, and chest out! Now, smile and screw it. There is ALWAYS something better waiting for us around the corner. Revenge is NEVER the answer for anything. Vengeance is dangerous just as anger. Emotions can run our lives if we let them. Don't go around blaming the entire world for your problems or what YOU did. Some of us had some horrifying and traumatic things happen to us, but it is up to us to fight back. If I do something careless than I can't say well it is this one or that ones fault that I did it because of what happened to me or what someone did. True, it may be life altering, but once we make that decision to do something, than it becomes our job to take responsibility. Nobody MADE us do it. We can use that excuse, but it is not valid.
Cherish your loved ones and your friends. Family essential in life. They might not always be close by either. You might not have the best relationship, but it is there and needs nurturing and attention. You don't have to be best friends or even that close to keep them close. Family is family. Of course we all have those relationships that are unhealthy for whatever reason are not good for us, but unless they are not reconcilable than don't neglect them.Near or far don't let that stop you from talking or spending time with them. Travel to see them. Make the time. Not everyone we care about or that is important is down the street. The more time you let pass, the further away you become. Even if you can't see them, than call them as much as you can. As far as friends, we probably do not get many friends in life that are REAL friends. They might be a pain in the ass, weird, crazy, nothing in common, or even pushy, but you adore and love them. There is something about them that bonds you together. Those are usually the ones you want around forever. I have plenty of friends that I look at and am like why am I friends with you again lol. Oh, I remember. I love you! Your the one that has stood by me, called me every day and night to check on me when I went through that rough patch, you were the one that didn't want anything from me, you are the one that listened to me when it was my turn, and you are the one that I can talk about a pile of shit in the street and make a great conversation about it, you are the one that did not just care about YOU and loved me back, and you are the one that makes me laugh. I went through plenty of friends that it was all about them. Once they were good again, they barely spoke to you. They got what they needed, and than a new friend came along. They were suddenly too busy to give a damn to chat. You don't always need to chat when something is wrong. You can talk when things are good too. It is called communication and conversation. Er....it doesn't matter what you talk about.
Nobody wants people in their life that it is all about THEM! I cut ties right away with people like that. Oh I adore you, I love you, you are so awesome, you are such a good friend, you are the best, and blah blah blah. Reallly? Well, where are you now. Things are different so now I am just that person that is in your phone or on your list when you need support or something from me. I was FABULOUS than! I saw so many of my friends hurt by people like that. It was at a very young age I learned how to be a good friend. I also learned how to recognize a good friend when I see one. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting, good hearted, inspirational, and amazing people.
Don't let anybody tell you you can't do something. Don't let them take what you love away from you. Do what you LOVE! Go for every dream. If you fail, than try again. People have failed hundreds of times before they broke through barriers. NEVER let anybody have control over you, your life, or your decisions. NEVER let them make you feel like you are less of a person or can't accomplish anything. Travel, live, love, and laugh. Responsibly of course :) If you want to do things or try something, than DO IT! At least you can say you tried.
The moral of this story: There might always be something when the times comes, but you want to be able to say right now, right here, today and every other day I am happy with my life if I was to go right now. I had a good life. It is the simple things that we sometimes regret the most as I said in the beginning of the story. This is not always easy either. Unfortunately, lives are taken very early in life and life has yet to barely begin for some, but in you can still live it while you are here. IF you are NOT GONE yet, than you always have time to LIVE! My Nonna taught me this. She did everything she wanted. She had everything she wanted. She traveled. She had an amazing support system of family and friends, and she always says to me I am happy with my life. I can't ever complain. This is the way she thinks and always has. My Nonna is 90 years old today, so I would say she did something right! Wouldn't you?
Open your eyes, take a deep breathe everyday, be thankful, be grateful, go outside and enjoy nature, see the signs, enjoy life! Don't waste it! Everything does not have to be perfect because there is no such thing. We don't have to always do things how they are typically done to fit into society. Do not plan everything. Well, let's wait to do this or this would be a better time to do this. Before you know it, it is too late. GO FOR EVERYTHING IN LIFE FULL FORCE WITHOUT HESITATION!
This is my answer to my friend's question.
Many blessings. Smile :)