Sunday, November 27, 2011

Choice

Lets Talk About It - From NYC w/Dana J.

I recently had a very enlightening conversation with a friend, and put a great deal into perspective. It is not that I didn't already know these things, but you forget when your mind is spinning. When we become adults, we get to make our own choices in everything we do in life. It is easy to blame others from the past to the present, but there is also a time when we need to chose to let it go and forgive. At times we might think we have forgiven not realizing hmmmm...maybe I haven't in my heart. It is usually in the mind before the heart rather than the other way around.

Ok, so traumatic things happened in your life, so now is the time to choose to change them and get your life back. There is only so long you can go on complaining and not healing where it will eat you up inside. It takes over like a nasty virus. The emotions run too high, and it than becomes unhealthy for you to not release these things. It is a choice we have to make. We can remain stuck in fear or move on with our lives. If we choose to go backwards, than life will move forward with us. If we choose to not face anything in our life and do nothing, than nothing will change. It is like going back to a bad marriage or relationship that you know will never work in the long run. Many people thought I would go back with my ex-husband because of how close we were when we got divorced; however, I knew that would be the biggest mistake of my life. Why would I want to relive what I knew was never going to change. I would not be moving on with my life if I did. I would be taking a huge chance I was not willing to take. If I did and the same thing happened, than guess what? That is all on me. I can't go whining to anybody, because the people I know would tell me straight up that it was a bad idea from the start.

I have told my friends who are separated or divorced that it is my belief to never have regrets when these things happen. I know I don't. I appreciated when he walked into my life and when he walked out, because I became a different person in several ways. I know what I was supposed to get out of that part of my life. It took awhile, but I get it. Those relationships happened for a reason and served a purpose. God wanted us to see something or learn something about ourselves. Something good always comes out of something bad if we choose to recognize it.  What we do with the information he has provided is up to us. We can continue to repeat or not. This is why we have free will.  On YOU have the power to make changes in YOUR life. If you are unhappy in your job, your living situation, your relationship, or another arena, than wake up and choose do something about it.

It is true that things go wrong and though it is not our fault, we still made a choice to not prevail through our trials and tribulations. That being said, we all still make bad choices for ourselves from time to time. I can blame people for many things, but the truth is, is that I could have made different choices or done things differently to make my life better rather than suffer or be miserable from something in my past. Where will it get you to be a victim your entire life? You have to stand up and fight. Nobody said it would be easy, but it is easy to lay down and keep beating yourself up. That is why we fall prey to that so often when bad things have happened to us or in our lives. We do have to take responsibility for our own actions whether we were wronged or not. You can't complain if you do nothing about the situation, but we still do don't we? Yup, because it is human nature and a natural instinct to not want to have confrontation. How often do we say that we don't want to do something? What if I do this than this will happen and I am scared of the unknown. We will never know anything until we try it and let it into our lives. Fear takes over and you find yourself in quick sand in the blink of an eye. The only way to pull yourself up is to make some type of move. Baby steps are ok. We don't have to take giant ones or make irresponsible decisions. That is where it can be tricky. We still have to be realistic. I am not gonna bungee jump before making sure the equipment is all in order and safe. All I am saying is do it the right way. The best way to proceed when you want or need change is to sort it out, make a plan, and execute. All in good time.

Surviving through something is not overcoming it or beating it. That is where the real work begins, and it is not easy. Let me tell you, it is ok to fall apart after something traumatic; however, we have to get back up as with anything in life. If you dig a hole and stay there, than again that is YOUR choice! Life is full ups and downs and if we see the signs around us than we can make the alterations. You don't have to look hard. GOD gives us the tools, but we have to take the steps and make good solid choices. Nobody can do it for you and neither can he. Life does not just fall into your lap. If that were the case, than everybody would be "living the life of Riley". That is not reality.

Basically, if you want to change something or yourself than do it. It will take time. Nothing happens overnight, but as each day passes it gets easier to get up, to smile, to laugh, and pretty soon you start to see things in a different way. Good and positive things will begin to happen if you let it. Believe in everything!

The sky is the limit! Stand tall! Remember you always have a CHOICE! It is YOUR life. LIVE IT!



Ciao
Be Blessed
Smile Big
D :)