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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Life Is Funny That Way!

Lets Talk About It - From NYC w/Dana J.

Ya know life is funny sometimes. I recently have been saying that a great deal, and I have heard it from my friends as well. Rough times come like a whirlwind and overwhelm you to the point of insanity at times. When it rains, it certainly does pour. We often find ourselves saying...
"what else could possibly happen?" Be careful what you ask for because the universe WILL show you!

Recently it all came to a head for me. I fell off my path for a bit awhile back because it became too much, and I was holding it down inside. Exhaustion is the best word for it! The funny thing that in venting this to my friend I realized a world of change about myself. As I am listening to her and of course cracking jokes while spewing words redundantly due to stress, I was proud of myself. Usually I run, hide, push back, and don't open up. I would reach out and than pull back. Everything I am pretty much against and tell other not to do. You know how frustrating that is when people want to help because they care and love you? Oy vey! I can imagine because it has happened to me, and I was like grrrrrrrrrr! I never realized how much I did it myself. I didn't do that this time. I crossed some major bridges. Not to mention, I broke other old habits as well. When you are not used to talking about yourself and being the one to help others and offer guidance, this is a common occurrence. You stay strong and tough, and that is all you know how to be. This is me! I am not sure I know how to be any other way. You get used to it when doing it for so long. I don't like to talk about myself; however, the past year I find myself doing it a great deal. It is because of amazing good friends that I was able to open up again and find trust. Good, loyal, real friends.

We are not perfect. Even the best of mentors, counselors, therapist, coaches, and so on have their moments or their quirks. We all do. Nobody is exempt or immune from normal human emotions, craziness, tragedy, or falling off track. If someone tells you they are, than I would question that statement. Just saying.

I can make excuses for the past, but the truth is you get stuck in your story even when you think your not. You find yourself going oops I am telling it for the hundredth time. Yay! Nobody wants to hear the same sh*t a thousand times. I know I don't, but I will do it regardless for the people I love. Oh, but by the way, I will let them know it once they are done just as I want them to do with me. My friend did just that with me when I needed it. It is even more of hoot when you both project, but the truth is we all project to some degree when having been through an ordeal or done wrong. I have done it without even realizing it, and than there were times I did notice it.

So, while I was talking away it wasn't that she didn't have compassion or understanding, but she wanted to get through to me at the same time in a loving way, which she always does. She wanted to stop me from going backwards, which is what friends do for each other. I do the same for her. You still have to be honest with the people in your life. We often look to be coddled or told what we want to hear. It is not about being right or what a person did, it is about being happy. I AM the one who controls what I let get to me or throw me off my journey. In my ranting I was giving power to the source. I was trying to make my point. I wasn't looking for anything, but I wanted to feel justified as we all do when things don't go our way or we get hurt by another.

I also started to wonder into some other things that happened and some things weighing on my mind. Did you  hear what I just said? How can I not be upset? Why are you not upset for me? These are the questions a person asks themselves when they don't get the response they think they need at the time. The truth is a good friend doesn't try to fuel the fire that's why! You don't want friends that are going to keep you miserable in your story. You want people that will make a positive difference in your life. They do have sympathy, but you are not going to always here "awe poor baby"! What is that gonna do but feed the victim mode that we all must stay away from. You can't put blame either because all that does is feed the need to become angry. The details don't always matter. The ending is what matters. What you learned from the experience matters. The beginning of another chapter matters.

We write our stories. Throw the old one away and start fresh. Your new story will begin to write itself once you find your way. Let each page be a surprise and create as you go. The best stories often have no ending...just a new beginning!

Many blessings
D :)

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