What Would I Say to My Past Self?

Lets Talk About It - From NYC w/Dana J.

This might seem like an odd question to some, but if you would have taken my Manifestation Yoga Workshop with Jennifer Pastiloff recently, it would have came up. This question really made me think. WOW! What would I say to myself or do if I could go back? I don't think the main goal was to make a list of what we could or would change. It is not about changing the past, because we all know that is not possible. When I first wrote this question down, my hand froze. I was like saaaaaaay whaaaaaaat! The actual question she posed is what would I tell my sixteen year old self...

Sweet Sixteen Party!

Well, the first thought would be to kick myself in the ass! Truthfully, I would say to myself...really? Is this how you are gonna roll? Next, I would ask myself why the heck I chose that outfit or that hairdo. In my defense, all those things were "in" at that time. All kidding aside, this question is meant to be much deeper. It is to get our minds flowing, and to think about our lives then and now. Question it maybe, but do not let it overcome you.

BAM! There it was. I would tell myself nothing. I wouldn't change a thing because I was supposed to go down the paths that I did. It all happens for a reason good or bad. We have to take it in and see that our lives are what WE made them. If you are unhappy, than change it. You CAN change the present and the future. Now, I could truly grab a hold of this question and answer it. I still realized that no matter how my life went, no matter how many times I wished things did not happen or how much I wanted life to be different in some arenas, I learned from them. I am who I am today because of my past self. So my answer of nothing has changed; however, it would be something more general.

The first things that might probably come to mind are things such as: don't date this one and that one, don't let anybody see me stick my finger up my nose, don't let anybody see you picking your wedgie, don't moon the neighbors, don't take that dare to run naked across the football field, and so on and so forth. Again, go punch yourself in the eye real quick...ok you back? :0) Wait, I am kidding...not really! The thing is we can throw some of that silly stuff in too (Errmm if you can relate to those things that is), but just think about it more intensely, but do not over think it. Meditate and take it all in!

We will rise and fall throughout our lives. If you really want to tell your past self something, than tell yourself that it will all be OK. Tell yourself to be strong and take whatever comes. Tell yourself it is ok to make mistakes, fall, cry, get angry, and go to that dark place once in awhile, but make sure you don't forget to tell yourself to OWN IT and DEAL WITH IT! Do not just survive, but LIVE through it and than get rid of it. Tell yourself to keep the past where it belongs once it is there. Lastly, I would walk away telling my self that life is going to be a bumpy ride and to brace myself for it, because we can't change what is meant to be. Everything that happens from that age on will be what I need to go through.

I would never want the experiences, people, or special moments in my life to disappear by altering the future. Life becomes a domino effect of our past. This is what I would tell little D.

Ask yourself who you would be now if you tried to change the past? It is a hard question to answer isn't it? We already know the answer. Look in the mirror. We can't answer it because if you changed the past, you would lose your current future. This is ALL a hypothetical exercise of course. Just in case some of you are thinking I am trying to escape into the past with my pod! haha

It is not about us all telling ourselves the same thing. I just was throwing some of my own out there, but make it count. Make sure it is important and means something to you. You will be surprised what you remember, what you think about, where your mind goes, and the profoundness of it all. Guess what? Wait until you see what it does for the here and now! 

It will be nothing but memories, but that is all it must be. Oh I wish I did or said this doesn't change the fact that it happened and it is over.

Say goodbye to your sixteen year old self, because you can't bring him or her with you where you are going. What was back there is no longer. Never look backwards or your head my get stuck like that. *giggles* Oh, and don't forget to smack yourself in the face with a chair because we all did stupid sh*t. :)

Ok, in all seriousness though, if you look back too hard, you will forget that there is an entire life ahead of you. Don't lose your way by trying to go back. Let go of it and release it. Basically, change your story or rather in the words of Jennifer Pastiloff..."divorce your story". Out with the old and in with the new. This just means it is time to begin and create your NEW story.

Living through the happiness, the fear, the pain, the laughs, and the tears is LIFE! So REALLY REALLY marinate on it for a few days. I did. You saw how I responded at first at the beginning of this blog. I had no idea where to start with it. For any of you that know me I never shut up or stop writing. It is hard to get me to be speechless, Twitterless, Facebookless (Don't judge me I like to make up words), or the plethora of other websites I am on. :D

Goodbye sixteen year old me and hello almost 33 year old me. I am who I am because of you. Thank you sixteen year old me, but maybe some of it we could have left alone...like those shorts and a few other things ugh. Just saying! :)

What you would tell your sixteen year old self...(Though it is in your mind, your past self will hear it and surprise your present self) 

Thanks to Jennifer Pastiloff aka ManifestYogaJen for this insight and inspiration for this blog :)

Stay tuned...I plan on answering every question from my workshop :)

Be blessed

Smile Big

xo

D

My Manifestation Workshop with Jennifer Pastiloff!

Lets Talk About It - From NYC w/Dana J.

I can't begin to express what Jennifer Pastiloff's Manifestation workshop did for me right at a time when I needed it, but I will because I am a writer and that is what I do. If you would have asked me the other day if I was writing or doing much of anything, I would have to say that was a big NADA! The past month and a half for me has been nothing but one thing after the other. So much sad news on top of other stress factors is just too much in a very short period of a time. I was feeling extremely lost, stressed, and overwhelmed with so much anxiety, anger, and frustration. There were times I felt like a volcano about to erupt at any given moment. I knew there would be that one thing that just set me off and that would be it.

Suffering one loss and than another MAJOR loss changed me for a moment in time. The most heart breaking of all was losing one of my most favorite people in the world. My grandmother was a big piece of me as I was her. Talking to her always made everything seem ok. When she got sick that is when I knew that our time would be over soon. It was something I had to come to terms with quickly as it happened faster than I expected. It was as if something punched me in my heart and made a hole.

Anyway, this was all happening after a friend and I had made plans to go to Jennifer Pastiloff's Manifestation Workshop in NYC at Pure Yoga. This was something I was greatly looking forward to as Jennifer and I connected awhile back through social media. She was a friend I couldn't wait to meet and also experience her amazing workshops and classes I heard so much about. She was coming to New York, and I did not want to miss seeing her again as I did the last time. I knew by the time I got out to LA it would be awhile, but was I up to it being in the place that I was? The answer was at first no! I wrestled with the fact should I go or wait until next time. At that moment I realized how often we say those words and later possibly regret the decision. This is much like saying your going to go visit someone and never do until it is too late. Yes, these are two different arenas but with the same principle in mind.

All smiles and fun!

By the way you can find Jennifer Pastiloff all over the web. She is on Facebook, Twitter, and has a website all of which you can find here:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/jennyjenp
https://www.facebook.com/#!/JenniferPastiloffYoga
Twitter handle: @manifestyogajen
website: http://manifestationyoga.com/


Jennifer's blog is very inspiring and real. She does not hold back much like myself :0). I love that about her. I am always pulled into people I feel that type of connection with. Of course we want to have people in our life we can relate to or have things in common with, but what it is really about is just a simple connection! Seriously look up her many accomplishments and sites. She also is a contributor on other sites such as Positively Positive, which is just positively fabulous. Jennifer also has shirts and bracelets she sells, which you can find information on through her sites. All proceeds go towards a charity very close to Jennifer's heart, which is called Prader-Willi Syndrome (PWS). Look it up, get involved, donate, and do what you can. Anything is always something.

Anyway, as I was saying, this workshop blew my mind. It was so much more. I did not go there for yoga, but a connection. I felt I NEEDED to go for that purpose alone. I am so glad that I made the decision to go. It was one of the most enlightening experiences I have had in my life in a long time. My faith gets me through everything in life; however, I think it is important to have several outlets. The more positive you can put into your life the better. Jennifer's workshop certainly put that into perspective for me. I sat there in awe of her. I might have a similar calling, but it is often hard to do it for yourself. It is much like a therapist going to see a therapist. We all need people in our lives like this, because we can't do it alone.

One of the many inspirational moments during this class!

I laughed so hard for the first time since my life became a whirlwind of mixed emotions. I can't fully convey what it was like to be in her workshop. All I can say is look her up and experience it for yourself when you get the chance. She travels all over, so it's not like you necessarily have to fly to LA. Two hours of pure thought, feeling, emotions, meditation, and yoga. She posed several questions and thoughts to me that I could have written a novel about at the time. See below:

1. I AM...(As in finish this sentence)
2. Who would I be if nobody told me? (This was a question I never asked myself. Why? Well, because I was always concerned of what others wanted to be or what I was expected to be)
3. Things that bring me joy...(List what makes you jump for joy)
4. If I wasn't afraid I would...(How many of us really think about this question that would REALLY makes us think about our lives)
5. Dear sixteen year old me...(Oh how some of us could answer this question. I am sure all of us would have plenty to say to our teenage selves. Very deep question)
6. I feel fear when...(Here is another most of us never really think about. How often do we analyze our fears without just moving past them rather than dealing with them?)
7. Where does fear stop me in my life...(How often do we not do something because we are afraid of the what, why, where, when, and how?)
8. I take responsibility for...(Exactly what it says. How often do we make excuses?)
9. My calling is...(What do you feel you are meant to be or do?)
10. I forgive blank for blank...(Who do you forgive and for what? Often we believe we have forgiven and in reality we have not)
11. I forgive myself for...(This is GOOD one because we are so busy forgiving others we forget about ourselves. We deserve forgiveness just as much as the next person)

Now, really marinate on these questions. They are not just for people who participate in yoga. These are life changing questions that most of us probably never think about. I know I haven't, but it was not until her class that I focused on them in detail. I usually just sweep it under the rug until it would creep back up. When we were in complete darkness at one point, which is where I feel I have been lately, she came to me and laid her hands on me. I felt the love she exudes, her big heart, and her compassion. At that very moment I knew I was supposed to be there. Everything happens for a reason. We connect to people we are meant to connect with and have in our lives.

 You might find a completely new and different path. You have no idea how simple questions we put on paper can change our direction in life. It can open your heart. Many think it might be silly or yoga is for stereotypes, but it is not. Jennifer is unorthodox, but in an AWESOME way. It is not just an hour or two of this pose and that pose. She really delves into each of her students and the class as a whole. It is about dancing, laughing, crying, and whatever other emotion you want to show. She plays incredible music that just magically goes along with each moment. Each song she played meant something to me as I use music an outlet at times. It was so incredible for me. I felt as if I was dreaming what was happening to me. She lets you go with whatever you are feeling. If you can't do something, than do whatever it is you need to do. You can write, take a break, or choose to do your own thing. Nothing is forced on you.

Again, I can't stress enough how it is more than yoga for her. It is about connecting. She wants to connect with each person she comes into contact with or leave a mark. She is and represents what she wants and who she wants to be, which is love, inspiration, compassion, joy, and so much more. She stands for many things. She says what she believes in, and she makes you laugh as well, which is the best medicine anybody could give. You might think you go in just for yoga, but you walk away with a gift.

More Yoga fun! :D

Don't laugh because that is what I was doing when I fell from my pose! *giggles*

Everything I participated in was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! As I said already, it is hard to put into exact words. I fully opened my heart for the first time in awhile. I felt it open, because the pain I felt while it was closed was at times unbearable. The smile on my face that I walked out with was big and bright.

LOVE IT!

From pain to healing. From start to finish. Life goes on if you allow it!

Later in the class Jennifer said something to me that caught me off guard in a good way. It doesn't matter what she said because she knows, but for me it meant something. It is truly amazing when certain moments like those happen in our life. It just reaffirms the connection.

I felt so free and and relaxed during and after the class. I still feel her words, and I embrace everything I learned. The light I needed I found along with myself. I walked out with so much more than I expected. Not that I expected anything less, because I  already knew what she was capable of. It is almost like flying when you walk out of her class. I only wish I could be a full time student. Maybe one day? You never know what life brings you. Her manifestation is all about that. Put it on a board, create it in your mind, or say it in the mirror everyday. She creates her goals and her life. There are no hand outs. Manifest what you want, pray, and you shall receive all in good time when it is right. That is what it is all about. In her class she reveals things about herself and her own life as well. She teaches and learns at the same time. You will find some just teach. Jennifer is adorable is so many ways. I thought I adored her before, but she more than confirmed those feelings.

I can write a short story on this experience and life her up in so many ways; however, it would not do her justice. She builds relationships with amazing people and just reaches out. Though, she is not one to reach out without telling you to reach out as well. It is a two way street with her. I know if I needed a friend she is one of those friends and people out there that would reach right back in an instant. There are no excuses...just action!

I asked her before I went to her workshop to rock my world. I needed her to do something for me that most would consider a heavy responsibility. She never said I can't or I don't want to. She said I WILL! I felt like I put a bit of pressure on her, but of course she knows I was playing around with her. Well, you know what I have to say about that? She took it completely serious and did it.

Ahhhhhhhh...I can't stop writing. This is what she did. My writing was completely blocked before her class. I barely opened my computer. Now, I am back to work on my script, my book, and my blog. I am ready and willing to go for my dreams. I am ready for anything! We all are in negatives places at times. She does stress that about us and herself, but we have to find a way out of that tunnel. She does not preach happy happy joy joy every moment in our lives, but she does preach that something good comes out of things we feel are bad. I do the same.

Take note: She blogs about and discusses her being hearing impaired, but she does not let that stop her from living life to the fullest. Don't let an ailment control you or your life. Find a way to CONTROL IT, ACCEPT IT, MAKE IT A PART OF YOU, EMBRACE IT, AND RELEASE IT.I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....FREEEEEEEEEEE FALLINNNNNNG! :D

Look her up, follow her on Twitter, look her up on Facebook, check her sites out because she is one to keep an eye on. She is going to blow the scene up!

So much love for Jennifer Pastiloff aka ManifestYogaJen!

Be grateful! Everyday is a blessing!

"Own your awesomeness" - Jennifer Pastiloff

I am proud to know her, have her in my life, and call her my friend! :) #GRATEFUL

THANK YOU MY FRIEND
XO

Namaste!!

D